Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when someone announces without a lot of enthusiasm that she is pregnant. You kind of wait to find out if it’s a “hurray,” moment, or a “ooohhhh,” moment or if a “hhmmm” is needed. But when Michelle says she’s pregnant, the only possible answer is “you crazy knocked-up freak.”
Sister already has 17 children, but they now have announced that they have one more bun in that wood-burning oven. Her womb must have a mini-bar and chaise lounges in it by now. Her baby parts are so stretched out that the fetus is able to throw the umbilical cord on like a backpack and take little hikes up to her right shoulder for lunch, and then back down near her left knee for a country ride in the afternoon.
Most people can not wrap their heads around the reproductive choices of this family, but I think of her as some sort of new breed of Old Testament Sci-Fi royalty. Seriously, I would not believe any person on this planet who tried to relay a message from God or aliens EXCEPT for Michelle.
If she announced that she’s the Queen of the New World Order and that soon angels or aliens were on their way to vaporize the rest of us to let Michelle and her husband (true story!) repopulate the world in sanctity and whiteness, I think I would say that yeah, I saw that coming, okay, bye now.